Six months in…

Six months in…

Six months in I’m often getting ask how I’m doing. The whole mom thing, is it good?

Fiona and me six months inThe short answer is, yes. I love being Fiona’s mother. The baby thing comes pretty naturally to me (and I’ve had a lot of practice with 10 nieces and nephews!).

The long answer is, it’s complicated. The mom thing I’m loving. The work thing is great. It’s the combination that’s hard. I’m still figuring out a rhythm to being a working mom. How do I give my all at work and still have enough of me left over for this precious babe and Husband? Left over? What an awful way to word that. My family should be my first priority, Husband and babe come first. But in real life, they come at the end of a long, arduous day.

I managed to get out of the house this morning on time (because I woke up at 5:00), without spit-up on my shirt (this is a miracle), with lunch (yesterday’s because I never had time to eat yesterday), and breakfast already eaten (yay!). I felt like I was on top of it. I dropped Fiona off at her nanny’s and headed into work, where I promptly noticed something white all over my black boots, dust? No, spit-up. Lovely. I’ll clean it off as soon as I get to my office, I thought. But I didn’t. That spit-up went right back home with me at the end of the day. Read more

Good Days | Bad Days

Good Days | Bad Days

Coffee Dates with God - Good Days | Bad Days

Do you ever have bad days? Just plain bad days? I don’t even know what it was that caused my bad day.

Maybe the dank, dreary weather. Maybe the extra-early rising from bed. Maybe the taxing wiring “issue” we had (think frayed wires and disintegrating insulation…AKA “could have ignited at any moment”). Maybe the fact that my best friend moved this weekend. Maybe the fact that I seem to mess up one endeavor after another these days. Maybe something else. I don’t know.

But yesterday was a bad day.

I was exhausted enough that I didn’t have the energy to really do anything. But too stressed out to actually rest.

And I began thinking about my word. Slowing.

And that brought an onslaught of guilt. I just about had a mental breakdown exactly because I am utterly failing at living my word for the year.

When he asked what was wrong, I told Husband I was juggling more than I could handle. I can’t seem to do it all well. And I am Ms. Perfectionist–must do all things with effortless ease and perfect results.

He suggested I get rid of something–anything–to slow my juggling act.

But what? I wanted to know.

Husband says that even blessings become burdens when we can’t handle them…and I think he’s right.

But what blessing would I choose to give up?

My horse? She is as much as a part of me as, well, anything. I’ve had her since she was a baby, and I sincerely can’t bear the thought of letting her go.

The opportunity to go to England? I’ve never ever been to Europe, and it’s the one thing really exciting and motivating in my life right now. I just need to find a few ways to make a little extra money to get me there…

Small group Bible study? Not a chance.

Church involvement? Nope.

Work? Not really an option…

So how do I go about slowing this year if I can’t seem to pare down my schedule?

My urge to purge and organize are a great place to start (a simplified home will definitely foster slowing), but it has to go beyond that. I need daily time to spend in Scripture. I need regular exercise. I need time for bubble baths and hot tea. But where can I find the time?

Perhaps scheduling my day would help…as in, official, written down, time allotted for various activities. Considering the fact that I am a known “rule follower” setting some rules could be a good step.

Here’s to hoping for a few new ideas to produce a few better days!