A Select Few

Fiona's first Easter egg hunt.

“Did you dye eggs with Fiona?” I was asked today. My heart lurched.

We’re approaching Fiona’s second Easter, and I’m once again facing the question of what traditions to partake in. I love traditions. Really love them. So it’s hard for me to step back and acknowledge that I can’t do everything with Fiona.

But I can’t. I’m a working mom. I commute for over 2 hours every day. I just can’t do it all. I need to be okay with that.

“No,” I replied hesitantly. Was I letting my daughter down by not giving her this special activity? “I have limited time. I had to choose what to do.” Read more

A seed of hope for Easter

A seed of hope for Easter

Spring flowers

I wasn’t sure how I would feel about Easter, considering the recent tragic loss our family has endured. Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard–both because they came on the heels of our loss and because they are supposed to be such joyous occasions. But Easter…it was hard to anticipate.

It turns out that Easter was like a reflection of what our lives have been. A lot of sorrow, humility, heartache mixed with a seed of hope. And I pray that just like Easter, this journey will also come to a place of joy and victory.

The weekend also reflected these feelings…there were pockets of productivity, moments of rest with friends, and a few hours of hopeful togetherness. The weather began chilly, damp and drizzly, but with a break in the clouds and a burst of warmth on Easter afternoon.

We took full advantage of that moment of hope and took the pup out for a mini-adventure. A new park is pure bliss for Ginger. But amid her excitement, even she had to stop and smell the flowers. Because Spring is coming, full of hope and promise, with a few cloudy reminders of sorrow mixed in.

It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 6 months since we lost Michael. Just a few months ago, we wondered how we would make it one more day and one more day after that. Here we are, 6 months later, exhausted with grief and sorrow yet fostering a small seed of hope that tomorrow will be better and someday, some glorious day, this world will be made new and all the hurt and pain and suffering will be gone.

Ginger stopping to smell the flowers.

Ginger at the park

Vibrant flowers.

Dear Monday…

Dear Monday…

Dear Monday,
Why does anticipation always, inevitably, at some point lead to disappointment?

Husband and I had the BEST time camping over the weekend. But eventually, we had to pack up and return home. We had to get back to laundry and cleaning and garden maintenance. We had to go back to real life. Of course, Sunday afternoon was beautiful and the windows were open and the breeze was fluttering the curtains and we happily set about settling back in. But eventually, Monday morning arrived and it became painfully obvious that all the anticipation I was feeling last week was gone.

Camping at Northwest River Park with Husband.

I know I can’t go on vacation every weekend. I don’t expect to. But I want my anticipation back…

Dear school,
We are so closed to finished I can taste it! Three more weeks until graduation… Meanwhile, just a few more tweaks on my thesis and it’s off to the school for signatures and finally on to the copy center and the library for binding. It will feel so good to have the finished product in hand. This process has been a bit longer than anticipate, with many more tangents than expected (um, I ended up married??). But in all, I am proud to have accomplished so much. Thank you.

Dear Ginger,
Please, please, please learn to use the doggy door. You will love it like nothing else once you figure it out. I promise. Really.

Ginger learning to use a doggy door.

Dear taxes,
I’m sorry to be rude, but I’m glad I won’t see you again for another year.

Dear weather,
88* today, but only 64* and raining on Wednesday? Can you please keep track of the days I get to go to the barn and see my little girl? I’d like to ride her, and I need warm, dry weather for that, thank you very much.

Dear life,
You do keep me on my toes!


Linking up with Happy Day.

Dear Monday…

Dear Monday…

Dear Monday,
Why do you come so soon? I try not to dislike you, but you are making it hard.

Dear Weekend,
I loved you, I will miss you. You gave me memories, and I do love memories. Friday started off a little rocky (somehow disasters always happen on weekends, or just before holidays…so a good chunk of my holiday was spent working from home to help victims of last week’s tornadoes in Texas. Of course, I really can’t complain, hundreds of families lost their homes, my sacrifice is so small in comparison.).

But the weekend included so much productivity too (and I do love productive weekends), like vaccinations and dental work for Chappy, cleaning the house, FINALLY figuring out the trick to making our washing machine run (all I have to do is slam the lid as hard as possible, and voila, it works!), cleaning the suggie cage, hanging art/posters/photos in the upstairs guest rooms and hallway (we live on the first floor, so we’ve kind of ignored the second floor since we moved in last year…).

The weekend was also enjoyable: a Saturday morning stroll through antique and thrift stores in Norfolk with a good friend I rarely see; making it to church on time (Husband ushering has a lot to do with our new-found punctuality); an Easter picnic and walk through Norfolk Botanical Garden (thanks to my MIL for a season pass!); a long walk around Oak Grove Lake with the puppy; sipping hot tea on the porch swing while the breeze fluttered through our new wind chimes; lots of conversations, dreams, and plans with Husband; and snuggling up to watch Winnie-the-Pooh Sunday night.

Tulips at Norfolk Botanical Gardens.

Oak Grove Lake Park

Dear Life,
Sometimes I complain, I grumble, I get stressed out, but in the end, I love you. I really do.

Puppy exploring the lake.


Flowers at the botanical garden.

Linking up with Happy Day.