Loss

It’s been a while since I’ve written about loss…but it is rarely far from my mind. I guess that’s really what I want to say. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there, simmering just below the surface. Remember that when you speak with someone experiencing loss.

We lost Michael more than three years ago, almost four. But that loss is still so very present.

There’s the green ribbon from last fall’s Out of Darkness walk, green representing a sibling.

I was glad when Husband and I ventured out to attend the walk. I thought it would be good for him, for us. I had no idea how comforting it would be to walk among so many people and identify their loss through the color of their ribbon. All those wearing green knew the pain of losing a sibling. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. There truly are others who understand. I hope Husband felt that too.

There’s the photo of Michael on our wall. I don’t want to ever remove our memory of him.

There’s the laughter of Husband as he wiggles the baby’s arms and legs, making her dance, shake her hips and “raise the roof”. Oh Michael would have loved that. I swear, I could hear Michael’s deep, rich laugh fill the room along with Husband’s and I had to look away before he saw the tears fill my eyes. Michael would have LOVED Fiona.

So please know that just because I don’t always mention it, that doesn’t mean we are “better” or healed or, gracious, “over” it. We miss Michael every day.

Dealing with loss

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