I think this is the first Christmas I’ve ever been alone.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been alone all day and I won’t be this evening. But I am right now and it’s…perplexing.
I was able to straighten things up and sweep the floors, I even took a nice long hot shower and got fully dressed (I even dried my hair!), and since I’ve been sick as a dog on the couch for two days, I finally feel human again.
I’m sick , that’s the reason I’m alone right now.
Normally, we spend the middle of the day with Husband’s family, but the last thing I want to give someone for Christmas is whatever has had me laid out for the past few days, so I bowed out. I sent Husband with the gifts and stocking stuffers and volunteered to remain behind — I don’t want any littles getting sick from me.
It’s calm and peaceful here right now. The pup is sighing as she snoozes next to the space heater, and I am sipping some peppermint tea to calm my throat. Christmas music, the soundtrack of the season, is playing softly in the background, and a spicy candle burns on the side table. I’m even thinking I’ll pull out a book (currently reading Pot Luck by Emile Zola) for a little solitary reading before Husband returns and we continue our own celebrations.
But it’s also a little lonely being here all by myself in the quiet on a day that should be filled with children’s laughter and good conversation and oh-so-many well wishes. It gives me a sliver of understanding for those who are without family and close friends during the holidays. I can see why it is so difficult, lonesome, and full of heartache for some. And for those, I take a moment today to pray. And I take a moment to be thankful, that I have never been without someone I love on such a holiday — be it family or friends. It is a blessing to spend these days with the ones we love.
And now, to cherish this moment of peace, I’m off to pick up that book. Merry Christmas to all!